There are certain nights when I’m in the mood for a drink, but heavens knows what. Bored with all the regular standbys and too drained/lazy/lacking in exotic ingredients to whip up something imaginative, I commence with the Johnny 5 rapid page turning technique.

Whenever possible, I like to look for drinks in Bottoms Up, because even if I don’t find a stellar concoction at least I get to look at some tastefully drawn nude women. On one of these ingredient challenged nights, I once again came across the Golden Fizz. How many times have I seen this drink and thought that the name too closely resembled a private act that occurs more often when ingesting multiple beers? A cup of cold frothy piss sounds delightful, yes? Mm, no.

Preconceived notions aside, I had to try this out. The recipe is as follows(pg. 113):

Golden Fizz(eh..heh)

Juice 1/2 lemon

1/2 tsp sugar

1 egg yolk

1 jigger gin

Ice(no shit)

Shake, strain into 8-oz. highball glass*. Fill with soda.

The verdict? Disappointing. Kind of like a flabby yellow cousin to a bright and gay Gin Fizz. On the up side, the egg yolk provided a cheery hue, and let’s not forget, protein! Therefore, I concur that this drink would be excellent breakfast fodder, preferably with something fatty and delicious like bacon and an egg white frittata–from all your previous night’s Golden Fizzes, silly.